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ITT: we make fun of ourselves
#61
I used to work at a car rental place at the airport with my GF at the time. We rode off somewhere and she started playing with me but didn't finish before her shift was over. I went into the bathroom stall to do it myself but didn't lock the door and the cleaning dude came in and caught me jerking off. To his credit he didn't say anything....at least not that I know of.

Speaking of the car rental place my main two friends there were always running chicks together, so much that I thought they might be gay. They'd invite me to join but I'd always decline until they pulled the really hot broad, then I said F it I'll get down. We went to a seedy motel and had some drinks then everyone started getting naked, unfortunately for me I was mostly staring at how big both these dudes dicks were instead of the hot chick. I pretended to get sick so I didn't have to pull my 5 & halfer out.
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#62
i have jerked off at a former place of employment also.
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#63
I really like the new paramore song "aint it fun" and i am ashamed because i really dislike everything else i have ever heard from them

I have never watched a episode of games of thrones, have nothing against it, and will watch it one day, but just havent

i enjoy some rod stewart music "motown song" is my fucking jam

I cry during the green mile ,EVERY time

The first i had sex when i was 15 resulted in the girl getting pregnant and aborting the baby because of her parents religious bullshit

i thoroughly enjoy lying to people in person, i dont know why, but i get a kick of just lying straight to someones face, even about trivial shit,just to see if they believe it

i hate concerts for the most part, i have only been to maybe 10 in 29 years, i just hate being pressed against some sweaty moron and listening to shitty reverb and bad speakers

I have purposely fucked up every relationship i have ever been in, because i simply get annoyed with everyone at some point

I have no real empathy when it comes to real life,but i do at movies and tv shows, i laugh at disasters, when i see like a earthquake or a mudslide, or the boston bombings my first instinct is to make some crass joke, i flat out dont care about other people's feelings, but when i watch a movie or tv show that is sad or depressing i sometimes get choked up
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#64
An old high school buddy of mine used to work at a local porn shop. One day I was hanging with a group of friends and we went to see him and he was sucking on a mini tube of flavored lube. He kept getting me to try it, but I wouldn't. Eventually I caved and tried it. I was hooked and was sucking on mini tubes of lube for about a week.

I still watch Phineas and Ferb daily. Awesome cartoon.

First time I ever busted a nut was from bed humping when I was 11.

I'm superstitious about the numbers 3 and 1. I hate the numbers yet was born on March 11th.

Win the Day!

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#65
I used to be a lazy kid and would just piss on my floor in the middle of the night. I thought dogs pissed in perfect circular puddles so I'd try to mimic that. It always ended up being a bunch of squiggles.

I used to think farts were pieces of shit exploding. I decided to hop on the counter, spread my ass cheeks and watch myself fart. Well, a small piece of shit did indeed explode when I farted and I was convinced for another year or so I was right.

I blame al bundy for me always chilling on the couch with my hand in my pants. I also will just hold my balls while chillingly.it's just comfortable.

I got "stay gold" tattooed big as fuck over my stomach and can't stand it one bit. No idea why I got it...I mean I do know and the thought is true still, but I hate the tattoo.

Not sure if we're making fun of ourselves or just admitting shit.

My friend and I were smoking resin out of his pipe once and were lighting it through the carb. For whatever reason I decide to try to take a hit through the carb and it burned my lip really bad leaving a perfect circle bubble of pus. We had 2 girls coming over shortly after...needless to say I got none that day.
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#66
I've fucked couch cushions before. It wasn't too bad.

I stuck a small marble in my ass once and pooped it out. It was pretty awesome.

I wish I was a kid so I could still do that stuff and not be disgusted at myself.
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#67
(04-24-2014, 12:42 AM)jabroni Wrote: I've fucked couch cushions before. It wasn't too bad.


I did this until I was 11 until I realized I could just jerk off
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#68
(04-23-2014, 11:32 PM)Gary Busey Wrote: i hate concerts for the most part, i have only been to maybe 10 in 29 years, i just hate being pressed against some sweaty moron and listening to shitty reverb and bad
I have no real empathy when it comes to real life,but i do at movies and tv shows, i laugh at disasters, when i see like a earthquake or a mudslide, or the boston bombings my first instinct is to make some crass joke, i flat out dont care about other people's feelings, but when i watch a movie or tv show that is sad or depressing i sometimes get choked up


Im the same way. Unless.i get personally invested i dont give a fuck.
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#69
This thread has gone from humorous, to cool trivia, to TMI in a very short time.
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#70
I'm pissed at myself for leaving Detroit right when I woke up and cheating myself out of more frotime.

Will invites me places and lives like 10 minutes from me but I never go.
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WHEN I DIE, BURY ME INSIDE DA BOOTY CLUB
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#71
Quote:I used to think farts were pieces of shit exploding. I decided to hop on the counter, spread my ass cheeks and watch myself fart. Well, a small piece of shit did indeed explode when I farted and I was convinced for another year or so I was right.


This is the greatest thing I have ever read.
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#72
(04-24-2014, 04:09 AM)Brulos Wrote: i'm not down


glad you finally admit it
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(09-02-2011, 05:38 AM)RawrBabyRawr Wrote:
it's funny because sal really does have muscles and those pictures he posted up really are of him. seriously.

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#73
(04-24-2014, 02:56 AM)I Am Not Avery Wrote: This thread has gone from humorous, to cool trivia, to TMI in a very short time.


I'm totally cool with that, this has been an awesome read. Feel like I actually like everybody more now.

When I was 12ish I had a hole cut in the mattress that I used to fuck nightly. It was pretty ok

I love to crop dust people in stores in passing and poker face to see their reactions. I usually aim for women
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you're going to be okay, thats what's going to happen. everything's okay.
we're right here beside you, we won't let you slip away.
plan for tomorrow, cause we swear to you, you're going to be okay.
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#74
i fucked the bend in a girl's knee. it was lubed and pleasant. i came.
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#75
I didn't start jacking off til I was 12, maybe even 13. But I was really into anal at the time, it totally didn't even register to me about being bi until years later. Kinda obvious when you think about the fact that I instantly gravitated towards that when I hit puberty.

I don't have my red wings either and I don't want them.

That Guy is like, my opposite when it comes to board participation/rememberance. I remember hardly anything about anyone on this board. If I dig around in my head for it, I can pull some stuff up, but for as long as I've been here (I've been posting on RealJuggalos to SFU to KBC since I was 16 and almost 28 now), you'd think I'd know more than I do.

But you all don't know terribly much about me either.

I don't have many friends IRL either. I have 1 super best friend brother type guy, and then 3 or 4 real close friends, but the rest are good acquaintances at best. I don't mind, I'm not that social.
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#76
I was a minority in middle school. Got my ass beat every day for being white. In Gadsden County Florida, its a black majority, I know the true meaning of racism and experienced it first hand.

After that school, I went to a school that had 1 black kid, Hosford Florida. Still got beat up once or twice, because I was a "City" kid. Its a wonder I wasn't in the headlines like the other school incidents when I was growing up.

My entire life I've had a high tolerance for bull shit. It takes a lot for me to lash out. When I do though, I make everyone aware of it.

In Summer camp we were playing 4 Square with a dodge ball, this kid kept flicking checkers at the back of my head and fucking me up. I got pissed when the ball came back to me I one handed it, power slammed the kid with the ball still in my hand, I pressed it as hard as I could on his face yelling at him "DO IT AGAIN AND I'LL CRAM THOSE CHECKERS DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

I used to write sapppppppppy as fuck poetry.

I have a soft spot for pop music from the 90s.
(03-17-2016, 02:01 PM)Wiggz Wrote: Jimmy King had a broken back and was paralyzed but he hopped out of his wheelchair and whooped Kanyon in Memphis. Then Sting broke six bones in his neck with a bat and in two weeks he came back and ruled ass.

Jimmy King > Sting


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#77
I love sal.
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WHEN I DIE, BURY ME INSIDE DA BOOTY CLUB
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#78
I like N'Sync too, but mostly live performances. They remix them or just do them different and they had such fly moves
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#79
I took unpaid leave and left work early yesterday so I could come home and jerk off to online porn
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#80
I busted a but in under 1 minute most times I had sex with my ex of five years.

With every other girl I can go easily 10-30 minutes and sometimes not even bust.

Bitch must have had some magic in that vagina I tell ya.
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#81
One time in high school, my girlfriend at the time was going down on me. I was extremely relaxed and farted. Luckily it didn't smell bad and it went behind me and not in her face. I thought, "There's no way she didn't hear that." I just played it cool and acted like nothing happened and she never said a thing.

We're still friends and probably 7 or 8 years after it happened, she said, "Remember that time...?"

so embarrass Frown
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#82
I've farted during sex. It happens.

I'm more embarrassed when my bones pop during sex. Makes me feel old. When my body starts making more noise than the bed, it might be time to retire.
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KidEx Wrote:jae with glasses is like a vagina with hair, it may not look as good but it's still pretty fantastic.

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#83
I'm 28 years old.

And I shamelessly pick my nose.
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#84
When I was 12 my friend Brandon game me a HUGE stash of porn that his dad had previously "given" to him. I carried the box home and from that point, didn't know what I was going to do with it. So, being the youngin' I was decided that under my mattress was the best place to stash it. Most of it was over flowing from under the mattress so I tried to hide it by making my bed really well every morning. Needless to say it was found. Among all that glorious porn there just so happened to be 1 gay porn magazine and my dad thought all the other porn was to cover the fact that there was a gay porn magazine in there. Truth was, I was never able to go through all of it so I didn't even know an eighth of what was in there. My dad thought I was gay for months until he caught me with a girl in my room.

Win the Day!

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#85
I still pick my nose too. I also bite my nails, I hate using a nail file.

I also hate blowing my nose, so I rarely ever do unless it's really bad.

My wife thinks I don't wash my hands enough. Basically the only times I Wash my hands is after I poop, if I get piss or grease on them, or some other substance that I can't easily wipe off on my pants.

When I was in 5th thru 6th grade, I went through a period of deciding not to brush my teeth. I didn't brush my teeth for probably a year or more, until a classmate said my teeth looked yellow. I blamed it on the lighting in the room, but he didn't really buy it. Ever since then, I've brushed my teeth but they haven't ever gotten back to being really white, so I don't do toothy smiles usually.
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#86
When I was 12 or 13 yrs old I got my ass kicked over a game of SF2. There was this tall, skinny Croatian douche kid my age or maybe a year older than me who used to always play the game at this spot around the corner from my house and not want anyone to play against him, even going so far as to put his knee against the quarter slot to stop people. Most people just waited him out including me, because I preferred playing on the player 1 left side anyway. Well one day I didn't feel like waiting on him to make it to Vega or Sagat or whatever and lose so I just slipped in my quarter and smashed him in the game with my Ken vs his Ryu. Well, he waited for me to get outside and then he knocked me around and embarrassed me in front of basically everyone at the store including my little brother until some adults broke it up. It was my first experience in a actual fist fight and the black eye I walked around with afterwards was a huge badge of shame for me and blow to my ego. My father basically called me a faggot afterwards when he asked me if the other guy looked worse and I basically told him I didn't even think I landed a punch LOL It was a good learning experience for the future but it sure sucked real hard at the time. I never lost another fight after that except for times I've been jumped/mugged or attacked from behind.
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#87
I have never once been in a fight.
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#88
I was on the receiving end of someone's gang initiation at least 3 times.
(03-17-2016, 02:01 PM)Wiggz Wrote: Jimmy King had a broken back and was paralyzed but he hopped out of his wheelchair and whooped Kanyon in Memphis. Then Sting broke six bones in his neck with a bat and in two weeks he came back and ruled ass.

Jimmy King > Sting


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#89
Everyone picks their nose. You can't just blow all those out.
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#90
Violent J made nose picking cool
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